just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
