I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Boobs speak an international language.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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