I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
