he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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