If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
