My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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