Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
