But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
