I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
