so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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