I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i barfeds in our rink
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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