he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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