i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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