I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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