Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
