whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
