Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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