whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need to align my fucking chakras
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