Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
