sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dick very happy bro
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
