just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize