your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
