one might say we're banned from that church
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
