uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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