i would punch a child for taco bell
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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