official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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