Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
