It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
