I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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