i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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