i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
