If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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