why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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