So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
