Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
