Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
