goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
