This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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