their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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