i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
