38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
