guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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