great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
