making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
