Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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