just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
