Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
