You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
