wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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