this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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