Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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