Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
