My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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