from now on my penis is your penis
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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