But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
