weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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