id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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