i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize