I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
