their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
