If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm really into asian looking animals
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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