absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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