We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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