I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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