I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize