Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's great music for shaving your balls
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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