so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
