Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
